Closet Ben Stein Fan

Okay, I'm, coming out to say it. I really like Ben Stein, and he has me quite interested in the upcoming release of his movie.

I Only Want to Say...

Today was a good day.

Agent B called me.
I talked to JJ the Smu, and Jim Henderson.
I prepared a little for the coming month.
Matt from the underworld wrote this killer post on Circle and Cross Talk about Hell. I may have to post it on one of my blogs.

I did not fix the plumbing problem in the upstairs shower, but who cares right now.

Great and Terrible Day

So today had a wonderful moment in the morning. I visited a church of another fellow ex-unnamed-denomination pastor. His story is probably more sick than my own - certainly as sick as, but his church is doing well. It is healthy, and growing, and full of happy people glad to be there, despite being abused by their former denomination - a group not unlike our own at The Gathering. I shared our work over the Halloween season with them, and then to my utter surprise they took a missions offering for our work.

Oh Lord send blessings to New Hope Church in Norwell, MA, and great blessings to Pastor Dave Wilson, and his wife Julie.

On the really terrible side of things: I have been planning for an event for the last three months, and I have been really excited about being a part of it. It turns out I had it in my schedule for next Sunday, and the event occurred today. I was to be a workshop presenter at the event, and I was a no-show. Now this really stinks, and I was completely embarrassed to discover the error at 7pm in the evening. The event ran from 10am to 6pm, and I discovered I missed the event at 7pm.

So, that makes for a great day - terrible day scenario. Why do I feel like this is a perfect illustration of my life over the last couple years?

Oh curses that James Taylor rings in my ears! "I've seen fire and I've seen rain...."

Our Friends from Taize

While at Taize we met with a small group for discussion time in the afternoon. We were to have considered some questions presented during the morning teaching, and bring those thoughts with us during the 3:30pm small group discussion. The above photo is our group. Roland is the interfaith minister, he and I were the only guys in our small group. People apparently are afraid of his hat, and those who are not call him Roland the Hat. I guess when he was young they called him Roland the Rat. I didn't understand that reference, and so I had to look it up.

Andrea and Sophie were particularly friendly, and we spent quite a bit of time with them. They are both school teachers. Andrea teaches in the black forest of Germany - cool huh? Sophie teaches in France. Andrea was interested in end times theology, and asked me a lot of questions about it. Sophie has a pastor who was once a famous yogi, now he teaches on the deception of the New Age Movement, and she is going to send us some info about him. So here's Sophie (on the right) and Andrea.

Taize and Finding God

Now I am not Roman Catholic, nor am I inclined to become Catholic. I do not identify with veneration of the saints, and even less so with that of Mary as it is practiced in Roman Catholicism. I do not agree with the Mass as a partaking of the literal body and blood of Christ, nor do I find any substance or benefit in the claim of apostolic succession held by Catholic and Orthodox communions, but I did find myself greatly encouraged with my visit to Taize, France and the Communuate.

Brother Roger, a Swiss Lutheran minister, who was killed in August 2005 during a prayer service in Burgundy had developed the Taize community under the goals of serving the poor and abused, and creating a "pilgrimage of trust on earth." This pilgrimage continues to this day under the leadership of Brother Alois, who is a Catholic priest. The community developed as an ecumenical outreach in a very Catholic part of the world, and to this day looks Catholic in its liturgy.

People travel from all over the world to be part of a week of prayer, chanting, and teachings by the brothers of the community. It is primarily geared toward youth, with as many as 10,000 people there during the high weeks of summer. We visited at the last days of August, and there were a mere 2,500 people. This is an amazing number of visitors considering the village of Taize had a population of 161 in the 1999 census.

We were there for three days. Morning, noon and night we participated in the prayer gatherings. Chants sung in up to five languages, prayers in up to seven languages, and a time of silence from 5 to 10 minutes marked the simple service. The basic church building had no chairs - except for a few for the older brothers of Taize who sat in a center aisle. The youth (from 17-25), and the hundred or so adults, sat on the floor, on the steps, or on some benches against the wall.

Once during the day, a teaching time was held with translations in 7 languages going on, and later in the afternoon a discussion was gathered in groups of people speaking the same language. We gathered with a small group which included two school teachers (one from France and one from Germany), a woman from England, and an Englishman who was studying to be an Interfaith Minister. The Interfaith Minister did not call himself a Christian, and shared his misgivings about the Christian faith, which included the absolutist nature of our belief system, and the exclusivity of the message that Jesus is the only way. The rest of the group found thier religious identity in Christ alone, and this created an interesting dialogue with our interfaith friend about subjects such as the nature of evil, and the work of Christ on the cross, although the real focus of our discussions were based upon living in forgiveness toward others.

Bev and I were highly impressed by the simple devotional elements of the Taize Community, the beauty of the chants, and the fact that people from many faith backgrounds (mostly Christian denominations, but even non-Christians as well) gathered together under the banner of seeking God on a pilgrimage of trust.

It is our desire to develop a community which makes itself accessible and desireable to those who are still on the search for truth, and for God. We have come quite a ways in developing that kind of fellowship in Salem, but we have had few models to follow. Taize is one place we can see a similar goal for reaching across denominations, and even touching those outside the Christian faith gently, and although what we are doing is more "charismatic," and "evangelical" by nature, Taize does give us some ideas, and some hope.

Stupid Thinkers and Silly Adventurers

Thinkers are stupid people. They sit around looking worthless, and coming up with ideas other people think are useless, or silly.

Adventurers are stupid people also. They go places other people know are dangerous, and do things other people know are silly.

Thinkers come up with philosophies no one uses, and adventurers visit places no one else will ever think of vacationing, let alone taking up residence.

Somehow both thinkers, and adventurers have become heros for millions of the world's people. Thinkers and adventurers have designed democratic governments, discovered cures for devastating diseases, written world changing tomes, enlarged nations, and discovered new lands.

Today I read about a writer who described his writing as a process of turning sentences day in and day out. In a basement in Colorado he sits in front of a computer screen and plays with words. He is a thinker, and he does silly word games all day long. People think highly of this man, but there are thousands just like him whose words will never mean much to the general populace. They will be thought of as stupid people, doing silly word games all day long.

I tend to be an adventurer who gets into things other people avoid, and then I spend time thinking, and philosophizing about the things I get into. I'm not sure this holds out much hope for me.

Well that is my thoughts from Southern France at least. Maybe I'll feel differently from Taize in a couple days.

The Why Man headed to the UK

I will be in the UK, and then in France for the next month. I will have my computer, so I will try to do some blogging updates on our mission, and then our experiences in France at Taize and at the coast, but I can't promise anything at this point. So, I hope to be blogging again with regularity come September.

Gwyn dy fyd, and off to Wales I go.

Two Years on the Tobin

So there I was on the freeway, a mile before the Tobin Bridge crosses the river into Boston. I still had almost three hours to go a distance which was really a decent hour away if there was no traffic, but I was in a parking lot disguised as a freeway, and the wedding was going to occur in three hours.

Five miles and two and a half hours later I exited from the tunnel, which goes under Boston. I had to call Fran (my latest hero on the list of Hillmen: those guys who would die on the hill with me if needed, and I with them), he was able to fill in for the wedding, and he lived just a few miles from the wedding location.

In the hours in which I was on the bridge, and then under the tunnels in the Big Dig, I was mad, I was furious, I was tense, I was yelling at God, I was filed with rage. I experienced the emotions of two years of trouble rush upon my soul on the Tobin Bridge, but in the end Fran was there to fill in until I could arrive for the reception duties. Mike (another Hillman) and Stef were there to get me through this as well.

I am still embarrassed to have missed a wedding due to a traffic issue, but I suppose I have seen how much frustration over former betrayals, and a series of tragedies in this last couple years still lies beneath the surface like a gently rumbling active volcano. Perhaps someday it will go dormant, but those frustrations are apparently hot and active for now.

I hope I never again have to spend two years on the Tobin.

Just a Few Shots of Summeryard

I like how our yard is turning out. I enjoy the radical changes of the seasons which occur here in Salem, Massachusetts. As a California boy, the seasons I knew were earthquake, fire, flood and riot. Now I actually experience Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter, and I love them. So here are a few summer shots from our yard:

Sabbatical Coming

A couple weeks ago the church council discussed sending me on sabbatical. I thought to myself, 'Good idea, boy could I use it.' Then I said (contrary to my thinking), "That is an expensive proposition. We don't have the money for it, and neither does the church."

Of course the council knew this bit of information. Ever since our ouster from our former denomination - or perhaps I should start calling it our liberation from our former oppressors ;-) - the church has been running tight, and we are just making it by from month to month.

But, then Jeff was already in gear with a fund-raising plan, and was not going to take no for an answer.

So that brings me to our current state. I will be going to Wales with a missions team on August 3rd. When they return from the mission on August 16th, I will stay in the U.K. Some point shortly after that Bev will join me in the U.K., and we will travel to Taize, France to join the prayer, chanting, and spiritual retreat which has been going on there for the last 35 years or more.

It was decided that since I was already going to be in the U.K., that Bev joining me there was just a cheap as doing something here in states. With the friends we have on the other side of the pond this is probably true. So, off to Taize we go. Bev is hoping I will spend some days at a Welsh Language intensive in North Wales, which I would love to do, but then again methinks money, and waits and sees on that issue.

A Fun Blog for Moments of Creative Silliness

The lady who calls herself Word Imp hosts a game blog called Word Imperfect. It works like this: She chooses an obscure dictionary word, and you devise your own meaning. She picks her favorite three from which you can then vote for the winner. It's like playing Balderdash, and is a great way to be stupid for a few moments each day. So check it out.

You can take the Boy out of California, but...

If this gives you the same feeling it gives me, then you understand perhaps just a touch of what it means to be a from the coast of California. Let me know if you feel it. If it was Wales, I'd call it hiraeth, but it's a warmer beach (Australia actually), and I guess as a Californian I can only say, "duuuuuude."

Blogging - Because I Feel Like it

This is a sign of blog addiction, or perhaps the need to have someone listen to me, or maybe it is a subconscious flight from the introspection of lying in bed and staring at the darkened ceiling. Maybe I am writing out of a passion for writing, or simply because I'm bored, but I really don't get bored too often.

The need to have someone listen to me might have some merit. Feeling like the last couple years have been so rough, I sometimes find myself sharing our story, or at least a little bit of it with people I am acquainted with. I wonder if I sound like a broken record, or if I have that "suck the life out you" power going on? I sure hope not.

Maybe I am writing right now because I checked out the blogger choice awards, and wondered how the leading religious blog got almost 1.2 million hits since April 2005. Heck it's just some guy from San Diego, and I came from the San Diego area. Then there was the lady who lives in Utah who says she supports her family off her blog, and I wonder if she's just kidding, but maybe not because she got voted #2 all time best blog.

Maybe I'm writing because I ran into an old friend with whom I had an extremely difficult church discipline situation with a few years ago, and I really like this guy, and wish I had not had to be the person in the middle of life's mess at the time, but, dang, sometimes life doesn't give us that option. And this idea has merit too, because seeing him was a really good thing, but with the singed edges of narrow escape still visible.

Anyway I am rambling, and not saying much, and maybe that's because this is all blogging really is anyway. Who knows.

Petr Chelcicky - More Quotes

"And, just as temporal government cannot exist properly with too great a number of lords, similarly and more so, Christian faith cannot stand and be preserved with a multitude of wicked hordes and a crowd of lords, so useless and destructive of faith, men who cause division, inequality, haughtiness, oppression, hatred, conflicts, and violence of some against others. Even though they boast of being of one faith, they are far behind the pagans in respect to unity, which is rent by their wicked machinations."

"To be sure, the wicked men have entered into all kinds of unions, but Christ’s disciples cannot be in them, since these unions cannot bear comparison with the law of Christ, which is based on true honest goodness and in which the people of God are ruled by the truth of his word, in faith and in grace, like the household of one husbandman, standing in true obedience before God aside from whom there is no other lord. There can be no greater unfaithfulness to the rule of God than the division and sundering caused by these factions and their arrogation to themselves of laws apart from His law. The law of God will not assent to their conflicting peculiarities; indeed, every horde tries to draw God down to itself, desiring to have its distinctive peculiarities sanctioned by the law of God."

Petr Chelcicky was a Bohemian reformer during the Hussite reformation. He was born in 1390. Today he is honored by uniquely differing groups - Anabaptists, and anarchists. This quote from his writing Net of Faith gives a clue as to why bioth these groups might like him. Want to read a little Chelcicky?

The Three Stooges, Kidney Disease, and Steve - my Little Tribute

Steve and his girlfriend walked Salem often. It was their way of getting out for some exercise in Steve's otherwise unhealthy existence. They liked The Gathering, and would visit us for our $1 movie nights on Fridays. They never attended a church service, and considered themselves pragmatists about life and death. Death was neither friend nor foe they would say, it just was.

We had discussed doing a Three Stooges series some upcoming month, and he was looking forward to The Gathering restarting the movie nights. Two weeks ago we began our movie night for the summer - 8pm every Friday, as we have done before. I expected to see the couple walk through the doors again. Tonight she came 30 minutes before the movie - without Steve.

Steve passed away on Monday.

She was up and about, because she had promised him that she would not languish at home if he died, but would live, and love, and be happy again.

Steve had tumors on his kidneys, and needed dialysis to survive. He was waiting for a kidney transplant. Steve and I had discussions about kidneys. He would describe the things he was going through, and give me information on what I could expect as my son's kidney disease progressed. We talked about life and death. We talked about what he believed, and of course we talked about movies he enjoyed.

Perhaps we need to show the Three Stooges this next month at The Vault. I'm going to miss Steve. I was honored that his girlfriend came to tell me that he was gone. We were acquaintances passing through this life, and He touched my heart in small ways - though I realize now, it may not have been so small.

Last week my son received his kidney transplant, and is doing well. This week Steve, who was in his sixties, and waiting for a kidney died. Steve never adopted my views of life, death, or faith in Christ, but if I offer such a small tribute as a short series of Three Stooges films at The Vault perhaps it can be as best a shallow offering of thanks as I can give.

Serfs are on Their Way! and they make me smile

I found this great website called Very Tasteful. In its list of songs I discovered this tune by Billy Reid called "Serfs are on Their Way." I love these oppressed people rising up themes. This song made me happy. Maybe it will put a smile on your face too.

Petr Chelcicky - Can you guess why I like this guy?

Petr Chelchicky (pronounced Chelchitsky - gutteral Ch at beiginning) was a Bohemian reformer during the time of the far more famous Jan Huss. Here in the only writing translated into English he speaks of the transition of the church in the time of Constantine, and relates how Pagan rulers rule better without the influence of a powerful ecclesiastical political power.

"It is clear that a royal realm fares better among pagans than among these confused Christians, who have appropriated to themselves dominions. For among the pagans there are no such ecclesiastical lords, so increased in numbers and so useless as sores on a body, for pain is the only thing they give."

This guy is radical - isn't he? I love a balanced iconoclast. Wanna read a little Petr Chelcicky? Check out the Net of Faith.

High Tide, Late Night Paddling, and Observations on Motivation

Monday Jeff asked if I've been out on my kayak recently. "No, not since last year," was my reply. I have not been too keen on it recently simply because life has been too difficult, and discouragement has been too frequent. Between financial squeeze, and Elijah's illness and his need for a transplant, I've had enough just get up and take care of daily business. So the mention of kayaking was not particularly helpful, until 10pm last night.

We were driving home from Jeff and Diane's house, and as we passed down Bridge Street there was water flooding across the road. It was flooded as though it had just rained buckets. That section of Bridge Street always floods in a heavy rain. Yet there had been no rain. I wondered if perhaps a water main had broken, but I saw no gushing of water anywhere. Then I wondered the inconceivable. Could it be that the high tide had filled the North River Canal, flooded the dog park, and even came up to the road on Bridge Street?

As we came to North Street and had a good view of the North River I asked Bev, "Is the tide excessively high right now." I was watching traffic, and she looked to see that, yes, the tide was high. I glanced over to my left to the dog park to see it flooded.

That was all I needed. I was going kayaking. To pull my kayak in on the North River I need to coordinate my kayaking with the tide. Like those typical New England photos with dingys sitting in the mud, the North River becomes a sludgy mess at low tide, and the high tide fills the basin to a 10 to 12 foot depth. This was an exceptionally high tide, and I was determined to see how high it was by paddling around in it.

I learned something about myself. Okay, it wasn't anything I did not know before, but I did not realize how deep rooted it really was. I am motivated by adventure. Repitition tends to bore me. Surprises are generally good. Spontanaeity is a sign of life for me.

The exceedingly high tide was a unique moment, and one I wanted to be on the water while it happened. So I packed up my boat, my paddle, threw on my board shorts, and went down to the North River. I paddled around for about an hour checking out the shore line, and was happy to be there. What motivated me? Something new, something unique.

I'm not sure how good that is that adventure motivates me highly, but it is.

Elijah's Home Now!

Here's the latest news on Elijah and his Kidney.

Jason Rozen (the donor) went home about noon today. He was feeling fine, and he's our hero.

Elijah's rashes have subsided. They occasionally pop up, but not nearly as bad as initially.

Usually a kidney transplant patient does not go home until after the fourth day. Elijah spent three nights in the hospital, and was doing well enough to come home this evening. We ordered Lemon Chicken Rice Soup from Cafe Kushko, and they delivered it shortly after he got home.

He has named his new kidney Otis - as in "O dis ain't mine."

Bev and I ran around disinfecting everything - the doorknobs, the floors, the counters, Elijah's cat (okay we didn't really disinfect the cat, but we thought about it.) We had to send Crash (Elijah's dog) off to be baby sat for a few days, because Crash fulfills his name, and runs and jumps on Elijah's belly when Elijah is laying down. Crash will stay with Rhonda's sister for some time.

Elijah is upstairs playing his guitar and singing at this moment, and although it usually is a bit of a disturbance when he taps his foot on the wood floor above my head, it is a very comforting sound right now.

So, if you were going to visit the hospital - don't. Elijah's not there anymore.

I am sorry I have not been able to respond personally to every one of you who have sent your support, and questions to us. I've had hundreds over the last few days. I do want to thank you from the bottom of my heart however. Your prayers, and your concerns, and your words of support have meant the world to us.

Diolch yn fawr iawn, a gwyn eich byd,
Phil

Surgery Complete and Successful - Updated 11pm

Elijah is out of surgery now. The doctor says it went well. His friend Jason Rozen who was the donor for the kidney is doing well also, and should be awake soon. Elijah will be awake in a couple hours, and after that I will give another update.

Thanks for all your prayers.

Update: Elijah came out of surgery about 2:30om, and finally came to consciousness about 5:30. He is in room 1023 at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, and will be there for 4 to 6 days. He looks very good considering the stress a surgical prcedure places on the body. He is in good spirits as well, and telling jokes as is his typical style.

Jason Rozen (the donor) also is doing well, and is room 1011 on the same floor. Jason is our hero. Jason should be in the hospital for a couple days, and then be home and taking it easy for about a month.

Thanks for your prayers