So there I was on the freeway, a mile before the Tobin Bridge crosses the river into Boston. I still had almost three hours to go a distance which was really a decent hour away if there was no traffic, but I was in a parking lot disguised as a freeway, and the wedding was going to occur in three hours.Five miles and two and a half hours later I exited from the tunnel, which goes under Boston. I had to call Fran (my latest hero on the list of Hillmen: those guys who would die on the hill with me if needed, and I with them), he was able to fill in for the wedding, and he lived just a few miles from the wedding location.
In the hours in which I was on the bridge, and then under the tunnels in the Big Dig, I was mad, I was furious, I was tense, I was yelling at God, I was filed with rage. I experienced the emotions of two years of trouble rush upon my soul on the Tobin Bridge, but in the end Fran was there to fill in until I could arrive for the reception duties. Mike (another Hillman) and Stef were there to get me through this as well.
I am still embarrassed to have missed a wedding due to a traffic issue, but I suppose I have seen how much frustration over former betrayals, and a series of tragedies in this last couple years still lies beneath the surface like a gently rumbling active volcano. Perhaps someday it will go dormant, but those frustrations are apparently hot and active for now.
I hope I never again have to spend two years on the Tobin.
6 comments:
Phew ... I feel for you ... living in a city that has probably similar traffic woes. It's embarrassing and terrible and reminds us of how little control we have ... even over our own tempers.
Nearly missed a wedding yesterday due to traffic. It's frustrating. I got there with about 10 minutes to spare though. I know how the route clogs up and had left what I thought would be enough time to arrive with about 30 minutes to spare. It was my ex wifes wedding. So I really didn't want to be late. Of course it would have gone on without me. So it wouldn't have been quite such a disaster. But still... yeah, I hear you Bro.
You know, I can't help feeling there will come a time when you might even look back on the last two years and be grateful for lots of things that have come out of them. Doesn't mean there haven't been terrible atrocities thrown at you. But all that is something I'd like to talk over with you when you're visiting us. :)
Feel for you, Phil. For us clergy, it feels like a failure when circumstances around us keep us from doing what we should. And even when someone is able to fill in and avert disaster, it still feels like our fault and our failure, or worse yet, God's.
The gift of Romans 8:28 is not that God means for us to slog through these excruciating times of our lives, but that we never slog alone, and that even the worst stuff we slog through can be used by God...that's a miracle I don't understand, but I count on it to keep me sane.
Keep the faith, and I'll continue to remember you in my prayers.
Sonja,
What!? I don't have control over life? Now you tell me.
Cerny Bro,
I'm looking forward to the grateful days fo' shooa.
Rev Anne,
Thanks so much for your been there felt that graciousness, and your prayers.
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