Thursday, December 22, 2011

God looks down upon the atheists (a parable)

God looked down on the atheists of the world. He slumped over in His great throne, and shook His head. He said to Himself (because He really is the only one smart enough to get Himself and He tends to talk to Himself a lot because of it), "What the heck are they thinking? All that argumentation about things they don't understand, and things they can't possibly figure out is absurd. Their lying and gross immorality offends me."

Then God turned and looked to faithful Christian Pastors and Christian religious leaders like the Pope, and smiled. He listened a little closer, slumped in His great throne and shook His head. He said to Himself (because now it was really obvious that no one was smart enough get Him), "What the heck are they thinking? All that argumentation about things they don't understand, and things they can't possibly figure out is absurd.
Their lying and gross immorality offends me."

Then God said to Himself again, "What the heck am I gonna do with this mess? I'm afraid that this freewill I've granted them is beginning to look like a catch 22. They can choose to believe in Me or choose to disbelieve in Me, and yet now I see that their damned if they do, and their damned if they don't - and damn it all, so am I!"

And so God responded to His frustration in the best way he could think of: He took up with a few medieval monks and started brewing beer.

This parable outlines my feelings about God. I feel bad for poor ol' God. What I mean is that He is in a tough position and has placed Himself there knowingly. The problems of sin, and the curse, brought on by the dynamics of freewill have made it almost impossible for a good deal of humanity to imagine a good God in the midst of all this tragedy.

Generation after generation continues to argue about His existence or the impossibility of His goodness, and He suffers that behavior for millenia. As a result he has chosen to take up working with us in many simple ways, and to express His love in those simple joys of life. If you look close enough you just might find God in the party.

Monday, August 01, 2011

The Cash Poem, (a purposely mediocre work) by Phil Wyman

The Cash Poem, (a purposely mediocre work) by Phil Wyman

I received a letter in the mail
called a risk alert
Don't dash to read a poem it said
or with the law you'll flirt

Please note the date of copyright
and the name upon
a poem of inspiration about
loved ones come and gone

It will cost you lots of cash
helping those who hurt
about $250 bucks
for copyrighted works

For it is the cash that matters
and the things that we can buy
at least this is so for the poet
though not for you and I

So before you copy a poem
to comfort a forlorn friend
consider the risk of a lawyers' notice
of copyright infringement

Now, take it slow and consider
writing your own poem
it may take time but it is worth
not being sued for your home

So be less swift to copy
and show a little brains
in the face of people who will write
dear, sweet things for gains

If you don't then you will learn
respect for lawyers and courts
especially when you find your cash
goes flying out the doors

Avoid an edict being read
at the courts and dash
right back home and write your poem
and save yourself some cash

addendum to my work of Parody

Now my little mediocre poem
is free for you to share
I wrote it in 25 minutes
no cash - cause I don't care

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Book Report: Peter Rollins' "The Orthodox Heretic: amd other impossible tales"

A couple weeks ago I finished Peter Rollins "The Orthodox Heretic: and other impossible tales." Phyllis Tickle called the book his "most engaging and accessible book to date." I think that was a way of saying that Pete probably hasn't written anything this easy to read since he was 3 years old. He does tend to write over most of our heads, and I have loved his previous books. So I was a touch skeptical coming into this one.

It is a collection of short stories followed by an interpretation of their meaning. As is the way of Pete, he turns the tables on what we expect and challenges us to rethink theology and life with God. There is a significant number of these stories which focus on social action, or as some will call it "the social gospel." This was to such a degree that about three quarters way through the book I thought perhaps the stories in the latter half would all turn that direction, but then Pete changed course again and created a number of interesting tales with deep personal challenge.

This may be Peter Rollins' easiest read, but it is by no means simple in its approach to dynamic transformation. I have been using some of these stories during our Lectio Divina scripture meditation evenings.

My opinion: Good book. Worth the read. It will change the way some of you think.

Next: I am now reading Tony Jones' book The Teaching of the Twelve. A book highlighting the Didache and applying it to Christianity today. Tony and Pete are friends who have been battling it out over facebook about whose stuff is better. I will give my opinion after I finish Tony's book.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Do Lectures: My Favorite Lecture Venue

Here's another lecture from that wonderful lecture series which happens once a year in West Wales - in a tent. This year, a second venue has cropped up in California. This presentation is from Paula Le Dieu. about Copyright law.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Left Behind: The Song!

I am organizing a party for the day after the rapture. Well, the day after the supposed May 21st rapture. In the honor of a better end times theology, and the fact that God doesn't want to leave anybody behind we are throwing a party in Salem, Ma. There is also a Facebook page you can join to be a part of the Left Behind: The Party! There are already a few parties around the US now, so we needed a theme song. Well here it is. Words follow below.

Left Behind: The Song
by phil wyman

Uncle Elmer had a truck
and it was my sin
lusted for his F-150
and that sick lift kit
Uncle Elmer was a preacher
mean as could be
told me 'bout the rapture
and the plagues that I would see
But now he's in a box
six-feet deep
but his pickup in my name
is a sign that God loves me

Left Behind, Left Behind
Uncle Elmer is not with us
but now his truck is mine
Left Behind, Left Behind
he could't take it with him
so now his truck is mine

Voltaire told a story*
'bout a battle on the town
sounded like the last days
when few would be around
They surrounded the city
to starve them out
the soldiers were all dying
cause the food was running out
So, the doctor hatched a plan
to save the day
chopped of the ladies' right buttocks
and all had rump filet

Left Behind, Left Behind
she sacrificed her right cheek
now we call her Left Behind
Left Behind, Left Behind
not sure I'll like the menu
when it comes to the end times

I went to a church
where the preacher did tell us
of that day when we would fly away
to be with Jesus
He said it was comin'
any day
and the church secretary
prophesied as we all prayed
May twenty-first
God will take us all away
but the preacher and the secretary
disappeared that day

Left Behind, Left Behind
the church and the pastor's wife
they were left behind
Left Behind, Left Behind
now we know that God is not the one
who left us all behind

Left Behind, Left Behind
It's your judgments and not God's
that left us all behind
Left Behind, Left BehindI just might throw a party
if I get Left Behind!

* Found in Voltaire's Candide

and I am throwing a party. Yo can find it Facebook, or you can join the community and start your own party! Left Behind: The Party!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Palm Sunday Prayer

Palm Sunday thoughts: identifying with the season of bright sadness

Today we come with Jesus
into the gates of Jerusalem
we hear the lifted praises
and the voices of the mob
but in the pattern of their praise
we hear their turning camouflaged
beneath the joyous cries
those who praise the loudest
will next week shout "crucify!"

i, among the frenzied crowd
take my place to find
that i have shouted both in praise
and in betraying jeers
and i as well have sat upon
the ass trudging into town
the bright sadness lies before us
as fandom becomes betrayal
and betrayal turns to love

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Nor smiles upon these leeches' lips

For we have dreamt about things that darken the days
We smile in our sickness and celebrate another's pain
Our strength is in their sacrifice
We eat their flesh
We drink their blood
Not in humbled thanks, but gorging pride

And when another day shall dawn, darkening our eyes
There shall be no sacrifice nor smiles upon these leeches' lips
Our weakness is the loss of strife and harm
No flesh to eat
No blood to drink
But in hungered cries, we'll surely starve

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


my thoughts are my own
at least, I think so
one moment they are controlled
The next unhinged and swinging wildly
    squeaking in the winds
from cursed tri-tones to harmonious hymns
I vacillate ALONE

independent soul?
or whited, blighted bone
now sanded down to whistling moans?
from barren desert dust staring blankly,
    blinkless to each gust
with eyes as holes and empty trust
I exemplify the LONE

looks down from stark sun
caught bare I can not run
knowing this, I am undone
and blistering heat becomes some comfort
    where our souls might meet
sorrow sucks from joy's warmed teat
multiplied by ONE

still working on the hope of bardic transference after sleeping on Cadair Idris

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Hark Dark Night

Hark Dark Night

Dark Night
Light Flies
Sighs Hiss
Kiss Fears
Years Pass
Ass Speaks
Freaks Bard
Scarred Mind
Kind Word
Heard Late
Fate Dodged
Lodged Dreams
Streams Free
Flee Dark