Left Behind: The Song!

I am organizing a party for the day after the rapture. Well, the day after the supposed May 21st rapture. In the honor of a better end times theology, and the fact that God doesn't want to leave anybody behind we are throwing a party in Salem, Ma. There is also a Facebook page you can join to be a part of the Left Behind: The Party! There are already a few parties around the US now, so we needed a theme song. Well here it is. Words follow below.



Left Behind: The Song
by phil wyman

Uncle Elmer had a truck
and it was my sin
lusted for his F-150
and that sick lift kit
Uncle Elmer was a preacher
mean as could be
told me 'bout the rapture
and the plagues that I would see
But now he's in a box
six-feet deep
but his pickup in my name
is a sign that God loves me

Left Behind, Left Behind
Uncle Elmer is not with us
but now his truck is mine
Left Behind, Left Behind
he could't take it with him
so now his truck is mine

Voltaire told a story*
'bout a battle on the town
sounded like the last days
when few would be around
They surrounded the city
to starve them out
the soldiers were all dying
cause the food was running out
So, the doctor hatched a plan
to save the day
chopped of the ladies' right buttocks
and all had rump filet

Left Behind, Left Behind
she sacrificed her right cheek
now we call her Left Behind
Left Behind, Left Behind
not sure I'll like the menu
when it comes to the end times

I went to a church
where the preacher did tell us
of that day when we would fly away
to be with Jesus
He said it was comin'
any day
and the church secretary
prophesied as we all prayed
May twenty-first
God will take us all away
but the preacher and the secretary
disappeared that day


Left Behind, Left Behind
the church and the pastor's wife
they were left behind
Left Behind, Left Behind
now we know that God is not the one
who left us all behind

Left Behind, Left Behind
It's your judgments and not God's
that left us all behind
Left Behind, Left BehindI just might throw a party
if I get Left Behind!

* Found in Voltaire's Candide

and I am throwing a party. Yo can find it Facebook, or you can join the community and start your own party! Left Behind: The Party!

First Saturday of October - yes, crowds are beginning

It is hard to find parking in town, and people are milling the streets.  We haven't begin the outreach officially, so I am still preparing things for action, but here are a few shots from the street this morning.

Pics from One Day Before Halloween

It is 9:30 on Thursday Night in 2010.  The night before Halloween.  At least, the night before Halloween in Salem begins.  It's September 30th, and October 1st marks the beginning of Halloween in Salem, MA.  We are the Halloween capitol of the world for sure.  So here are a few things going on today in Salem, MA - the day before Halloween.

Pics from Salem, MA - 2 days before October

 

 It's almost Halloween in Salem, MA.  In fact, it really starts in 2 days.  October 1st is the unofficial, but everybody knows it is, beginning of Halloween in our town.  Here are a few shots on this Thursday afternoon in downtown Salem near our church.

Furious! I was in a movie and didn't know it!

I wasn't really furious.  I was more surprised.  I received a call from Drew, the pastor at the North Shore Bridge Church in Beverly, MA.  He called to tell about a movie they were showing at their church last Friday night.  It was 3pm and he apologized for not contacting me earlier.  I wasn't sure why he apologized, until he asked me if I would like to come and say a few words before the film began at 7pm.

I wasn't sure what the film was about, but the name "Furious Love" sounded familiar to me.

Then Drew mentioned my part in the film.  (Sound of the screeching needle across the vinyl record inserted here)  What?!  I'm in the film?

Then I remembered that about 18 months ago some guys came into to Salem filming events, and did an interview with me about stuff God is doing in Salem.  I was nervous about the interview, because the things we do in Salem are definitely outside the box, and our stance to befriend and love Witches and the various Neo-Pagans living here has been misunderstood and/or demonized a few times too many.  Even if it has not been demonized it has been re-communicated in typical, and often aggressive sounding warlike Evangelical/Pentecostal terminology.

I am not sure which is worse: to be demonized or defined by someone whose language offends our friends.

I went home and watched the trailer.  Now I was really nervous.  This was looking like a crazy, demon busting film.  I was sure I was going to be typecast as an aggressive Witch Hunter.  Oh boy, just what I need living in Salem, MA!

I arrived at The Bridge Church just before the movie began.  Drew talked with John Harding (my good buddy in the crime of overtly and openly loving people in Salem) and I, and asked us to share for a few minutes before the film began.

John talked about the outreach which their church performs with us in Salem, and then I followed up and suggested that the title Furious Love challenged us to consider love as the weapon of our warfare, and turned our conceptions of treating people different than ourselves upside down.  I was hoping the film might have that kind of theme attached to it, but I was really just grasping for straws, and was quite nervous about the way I would be cast.

Film began:  Demon possessed people in Africa (I think it was Kenya) were flailing around and screaming.  This set the stage of a documentary travel film, which went to the "darkest places of the world" trying to find out if God was working in these dark places.

Within two or three other visits to "dark places" the movie makers arrived in Salem, MA during October.  Of course, they inaccurately identified Haunted Happenings (the month-long Halloween celebration) as a Witchcraft Festival.  It really is a combination of children's events, street vendors, theatrical presentations, museums retelling history of the 1692-1693 witch trials, and witchcraft shops peddling their wares and holding events.  Our church is more active than almost any other institution in town and so it can't exactly be called a Witchcraft Festival, but that's what most people seem to think it is.

Now in Salem the movie makers were trying to reach out to people by praying for them and healing their diseases.  They spoke of coming into Salem looking for a fight with the devil.  Oh boy, I was getting real nervous, because I knew this was the lead in to whatever interview cuts they took from me.

They showed an encounter praying for a lady with a knee problem.  She did not get healed and openly said that it felt exactly the same as before the prayer.  This was contrasted with another experience in another place in which a man on crutches was healed.  They remarked that nothing was working, and that their approach to looking to fight the devil head on was going nowhere....

"until..."

The scene panned in to our church with me sitting on a stool in front of the old vault which graces the meeting room. 

"...we met this man."

Uh-oh.  My part came in.  The cut they used had me sharing that it was far too frequent for people to be afraid of, and to demonize the Witches and Neo-Pagans in Salem.  Once we do this we disqualify ourselves from speaking on behalf of God.

The movie then pivoted upon this interview, and they went back out into the streets of Salem, and found themselves being able to interact positively with the visitors and locals on the streets.

This was truly the first time I have felt that an interview was understood fully, and effected the kind of response we are known for.  The theme of the movie moved from war to love - but love as the manner in which God fights for people.

It continued through other countries, and other events with some wonderful, and some sad stories.  It was far more beautiful in its shaky, hard edged documentary style than I could have expected. 

It touched me simply because I felt understood, and because it encompassed the message we live in Salem.  Hundreds of people every year learn from us, and the movie captured something we have been teaching for 11 years now.

So it gets a biased two thumbs up from me.  Watch it if you can.

Okay, here's the trailer that scared me, and made me wonder how I might be cast.

Duck Daddy Revisits the Month

That's right it's been a month since I last posted. Originally I was going to write about the ducks until they were finally out of the brooder and into the yard with their own pen and duck house. Well they've accomplished that now, and they've grown up, but a few things have happened in the last month which make for good story about Pato (the female impersonator) and his harem.

1. Back on September 10th Paul Allen from The Centre for Alternative Technology in Mid-Wales was here in Salem to give a lecture at our church. I had arranged this event along with a couple other speaking engagements through my new business venture CeltiConnect, and so Paul was at my mercy since I was the driver, and schedule maker.

In the afternoon he came to our house with his partner Rebecca to lay down awhile. Paul fell in love with the ducks. Well, Rebecca said he would. He had wanted to get chickens, but she did not want chickens. While Paul and talked inside the house for a while, Rebecca stayed outside in the yard. When we looked outside we saw her enraptured with the ducks and taking pictures - lots of pictures.

They live in Machynlleth Wales - not too far from Welshpool. Welshpool is the address home of the Indian Runner Duck Society. I suggested they contact them. I still need to follow up and see if they have. Just think, our ducks could have influenced The Centre for Alternative Technology! maybe they deserve a Nobel prize or something.

2. They have started laying eggs. It has been a little over a week since they started, and it is starting slow. Just one a day. Sometimes a little one - slightly smaller than a large chicken egg, and sometimes a big one - about 25% larger than a large chicken egg. I am quite enjoying breakfast, which is really not my favorite meal, but duck eggs are just too good, and particularly on French Toast, which I do like.

3. Pato started to chase my feet when I would walk away. He would act a little aggressive and peck at my feet while I walk. Of course even barefooted it does not hurt, but he might get hurt, so I have been picking him up and carrying him around when he does this. he does not appreciate being held like that, so he stops his toe attacks. I am sure he is simply playing the big man and chasing me off his girls.

Those are the newest developments at Duck Daddy's house. Fall is here and Winter will come soon. We are wondering how life at with ducks will be in the harsh New England winter.

Duck Daddy and his 4 girls (and the imposter duck turned drake)

So is this evidence that the ducks are too familiar with us? Do we need to set some boundaries?

Duck Daddy and Hmmmmm..Uh, Oh

It has been almost a month since I last wrote about the ducks. I was going blog about these endeavors with the ducks until they were grown up and outside. Since day 1 back on May 20th, the duck stories have been followed, and they have been outside for quite some time now.

They changed rapidly. One of the original six girls died at a couple weeks old. They pooped like crazy. They loved the water like, well, like ducks. Bev got duck poop in her eye. The squeaked like crazy for lettuce. They eventually developed their quacks, and their feathers. We learned lessons about ducks, and then the girls made the cover of the Runner Duck Newsletter, and they also made the news in a local story on Urban Farming.

Well the last month has tow major duck developments:





1) they are in their new house. It has been built into the shed. Next to their shed is our duck pen. It is wire fence almost six feet high, and netting over the top to keep out predators. It is a fine black plastic mesh netting. So far it works just fine. The only visitor we've seen in the duck pen is a groundhog. He lives under the shed, and came out to say high to the ducks. It was in the middle of the day, and it looked like a standoff. The groundhog was staring at the ducks, and the five ducks were staring back at the groundhog quacking.

I was in the kitchen talking with Val. She saw a creature in the pen, and said, "There's a creature in the duck pen. I think it's a beaver."

I thought to myself, "There's no chance it's a beaver. We don't have beavers in Salem." But, I ran out to see what kind of predator it might be. The groundhog ran off when he saw me.

2) We discovered that one of our ducks is not. We have not named the ducks, because they all looked the same, and even the small differences were difficult to follow through the changes as they were growing up, and changing so quickly. That is all except one. One of the girls was bigger than the others. She was a little darker. She seemed like the duck in charge - always alert, and a little protective of the others. As she grew up her feathers came in a little later, and her down stayed a little longer. Her quack was whispery and hoarse compared to the honking of the other girls.

Okay, you duck oficianados and farmers already know what was going on.

Bev decided to name the one duck we could tell apart from the others. She named the duck "Pato." I though that the name was too masculine and did not like it. Well, I suppose that Pato is a fine and appropriate name, because one day over the last month, it dawned on Bev despite the little white band around the leg which came with the duckling as assurance that we had 6 girls, Pato was not a duck. Pato was a drake. After over 3 months of duck raising poor Pato was thought to be a girl the whole time.

Now instead of Duck Daddy and his 5 girls what we have is Pato and his Harem. Sheesh. He looks pretty proud in that photo, doesn't he? So much for my previous post titles - I can not call this Duck Daddy and His Five Girls anymore.

Duck Daddy and His Five Girls - 11 weeks

So the girls are about 11 weeks old. Feathers are all over the yard. They are loosing, pulling out, and spilling feathers with some downy edge to them, and these feathers are everywhere in the lawn.

The ducks are also uneven in color. Will they stay this way, or will they get darker on their fawn colored parts as they loose their young ducky feathers and grow the next crop of them? This is our first duck adventure, so we are not sure, but here's how they look right now.

Duck Daddy and His Five Girls 8th week: a Duck is Like a Pickle

I am convinced that the only reason the neighbors don't mind our quacking ducks is because a duck is like a pickle.

There are certain words, and their connected thoughts or actualities that bring a smile simply by mentioning them. The words sound light-hearted and funny, and almost bring a smile whether one says those words, or hears those words. The accompanying image of the meaning behind the words furthermore is humorous, because the object which the noun names is in itself a peculiar or clownish thing.

Pickle is one of those words. It feels funny in the mouth. It sounds funny to hear, and dances on the tongue like a nursery school rhyme. Say the words a few times and see if it does not make you smile.

Well, duck is another one of those words. Say the word a few times and see what it does to lighten your heart. Duck, duck, duck....

A duck is like a pickle. Don't you think?