Great and Terrible Day

So today had a wonderful moment in the morning. I visited a church of another fellow ex-unnamed-denomination pastor. His story is probably more sick than my own - certainly as sick as, but his church is doing well. It is healthy, and growing, and full of happy people glad to be there, despite being abused by their former denomination - a group not unlike our own at The Gathering. I shared our work over the Halloween season with them, and then to my utter surprise they took a missions offering for our work.

Oh Lord send blessings to New Hope Church in Norwell, MA, and great blessings to Pastor Dave Wilson, and his wife Julie.

On the really terrible side of things: I have been planning for an event for the last three months, and I have been really excited about being a part of it. It turns out I had it in my schedule for next Sunday, and the event occurred today. I was to be a workshop presenter at the event, and I was a no-show. Now this really stinks, and I was completely embarrassed to discover the error at 7pm in the evening. The event ran from 10am to 6pm, and I discovered I missed the event at 7pm.

So, that makes for a great day - terrible day scenario. Why do I feel like this is a perfect illustration of my life over the last couple years?

Oh curses that James Taylor rings in my ears! "I've seen fire and I've seen rain...."

My Favorite Heretic

heretic - n. a person who holds unorthodox opinions in any field (not merely religion)
recusant, nonconformist - someone who refuses to conform to established standards of conduct

or·tho·dox - adj. 1. Adhering to the accepted or traditional and established faith, especially in religion.

If you have not quickly guessed who my favorite heretic is even before I tell you, I will be surprised. The above quotes give clear indication of the life of the individual I respect most for his heretical ways. Human history has yet to to find a man or woman who would give their life so fully to teach concepts contrary to the established powers as this man did. Without concern for himself, he helped the broken, the suffering, the weak, and the young in spite of pressure to conform to the religious system of his time. When challenged by a hastily gathered court, trumped up with false charges, he refused to bow to conventional wisdom, and suffered a horrible death at the hands of corrupt religious powers.

He lived as a servant to humanity, and died an ignoble death as a heretic.

I generally capitalize not only his name as is standard for all names, but each noun and pronoun which refers to him. I have not done so to this point so you would have to wait, if you hadn't figured out who He was.

My favorite Heretic is the Nazarene.

I regularly read His life story to discover the people He came to serve. They were not the elite. They were not the rulers, nor the rich. They were not people of success, nor people of pedigree. He looked for the lost, and wore the servant's apron for the working class, and their children.

He was expected to serve the leadership, and the rulers of His day. That is generally the path to success, but He chose the path to sorrow and difficulty. His nose was not browned by being warmed at the back end of the powerful. When they were wrong, He stated so with the boldness normally reserved for judges speaking to criminals.

I have considered the people whom the Nazarene defended. They were not the churchgoing, nor were they considered the good citizens. They were the sinful, and the broken. They were people who were rejected by religion, and isolated by their circumstances from the rest of society.

Today, religious people often defend the church, and disassociate themselves from the broken, the strange, and the rebels. The Nazarene came for the these, spent time with the strange, and became a Rebel Who trained the next generation of rebels.

His interaction with the rich consisted of challenges of their allegiance to money's cruel, and powerful grip over their hearts. He spoke of the dangerous position of being rich, and the necessity of being willing to loose it all for the sake of living right.

He responded to the religious authorities with strong words of condemnation for their treatment of those they were supposed to be leading. He openly challenged them before the public - even on their own turf.

And so it was that my favorite Heretic ended up in a rigged trial, which condemned Him to that ignoble death.

I am convinced that He would be as much a Heretic today as He was then, and so I am not afraid to walk in His example.

I can embrace my inner heretic, because I have embraced my favorite Heretic

Manic Joys of Stressful Seasons

So we are now into our fourth week of watching Forrest 24 hours a day. He was hit by a car on Halloween morning, had to have a leg amputated, and had surgery on his other back leg. For the first week, his liver almost failed, and he was on his deathbed, then on the second week, he snapped out of it, and became his same old silly self.

After he came home, with the price tag of a new car, I have watched him for most of the 24 hours each day. He had to have a second surgery on his one back leg because the sutures didn't stay after the first day of recovery. So now he has a bigger cast, and it has a rounded bottom, which makes him shakey on it. Every time he goes out, we need to keep him on a sling to keep him from bouncing too hard on his back leg. So each time he stirs in the night, I am up to see how he is doing. Since Forrest has always stirred a lot at night - so do I.

Tonight April came to visit. April was the first person to help Forrest when he was hit by a car. Somehow he got up with his seriously mangled leg, and hopped to her. She was two cars behind the car which hit Forrest. She drives a trash truck, and stopped to help him. She held him, and used her hand to stop the bleeding until I arrived on the scene. She probably saved his life. In all the furious action to get Forrest to the Vet Hospital, we never actually met April, nor did we hear the story until tonight. Somehow she tracked him down at the Vet, and then found us, and wanted to come visit him.

In the midst of a series of stresses, and tragedies over the last year, meeting April seemed to bring joy to the house.

Of course, I question myself and wonder: Will the joy last for an evening, and dissipate quickly to the bland feeling which comes with discouragement? or will it prove to be one of those steps up toward normality?" (Perhaps I should have used the word normalcy, because normalcy wasn't a word until a President used it in a speech, and as we know normal doesn't exist.) Is this just the manic up of a bi-polar swing?

Over the last three weeks I have slept few hours each night working my doggy-nursing position. I am sure sleep deprivation, added to stress helps create a sense of having bi-polar disorder. Dog accidents, sickness in the family, financial stress, and naughty Christian leaders can help create stress which leads to sleep deprivation - we know here at 7 Upham Street.

I saw Elijah go from slow to happy yesterday as well. He was feeling terrible - which is common as his kidneys are failing, but he found out that it was primarily because his blood pressure was so low. That means that he had to stop taking one of his meds which is supposed to bring his blood pressure down. That was something like mildly good news, so he was happier when he came home from his Nephrologist visit. Up, down, up, down we go in this house lately.

I've never been bi-polar, although I've experienced the swings from mania to depression which mark its presence over this season of stress. I am hoping that mania, and depression are fading away into the stability of simple joy. April's visit may be a simple return to joy, but perhaps it is a mild manic swing. I'll let you know. But right now, we're smiling here at 7 Upham Street, and we are not even taking any happy meds.

I Know This isn't Eustress

I read Hans Selye's classic book "The Stress of Life" some years ago, and was caught by the term "eustress" - no rocket science needed to define the term. Good-stress could be harmful in high doses Hans submitted, just as bad stress can.

Halloween has been a season of eustress for me each year. It is filled with tension, and surprises. It has more work involved with it than I should handle. This is true not only for myself, but the poor people who are a part of our church. They follow me faithfully into the night just beyond the Autumnal equinox.

We will run the 10th annual Halloween Children's Day. We will host about 50 people who come from far away to minister on the streets of Salem. We will sponsor about 40 hours of live outdoor music, and give away 8,000 cups of hot cocoa. People will be fed, dreams will be interpreted, movies will be shown, people will be blessed, and we will be over-worked.

These events have been a great joy, and a beautiful experience over the last 7 years.

This year I am not sure that I am feeling the eu- part of the stress. Somewhere in the last year the joy of serving was temporarily robbed, and is returning only slowly.

Is it possible that I am feeling what a person who seems to hate every moment of existence feels? Am I feeling the sensations of a permanent state of dissatisfaction? I have observed people who have acted this way, but I have not experienced permanent antagonism toward life myself - at least not until this year.

Even the things which I typically find joyous have been difficult to accomplish. They come with a sense of dread, weariness, or disinterest. Every now and then, the old joys surface, and with them come the excitement of the need for flexibility, and spontanaiety which is part of Halloween in Salem, MA. Although I am sure this season will deliver me from the doldrums, I am still struggling with loss of the eu- on this season's stress.

In two days it will be anniversary of the greatest treachery I have experienced from the hand of any leader in church life. I think to myself, "Get over it Wyman." This silly event shouldn't bother you so much, and yet I feel in my belly, and discover in my head that I carry the dissatisfaction with life which I have seen in others who somehow have been stricken with a similar affliction.

My affliction is light, but I write about it to chronicle a sickness which may well be spread through oppression, lies, and hypocrisy in people holding leadership in religious circles.

Oppressors steal eu- from seasons of stress, and perhaps from life itself.

So I wonder - whatever happened to Jesus' promise? You know, "My yoke is easy, my burden is light." Shouldn't that be the experience of serving God? It sounds as though He knew how to keep the eu- in His stress, and has a few lessons to teach me still.