Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Bland Leading the Bland?

My buddy Allan loves to use this quote which he picked up from his days working with YWAM. "It's the bland leading the bland." I'm sure it is a reference to non-pentecostal, unemotional worship found in many churches, but I am thinking that it might be a reference to my frame of mind from time to time.

Over the last three months I have been writing snippets of my story in experimental prose. I have attempted to write in such a way as to portray my thought life as outwardly unemotional and simple, but inwardly tumultous and confused - like a child with autism, because that is how I was feeling at times. With less success I have written stories in an attempt to portray the emotional rollercoaster of being bipolar. The same experiment was given to Post Traumatic Stress with greater success.

But what does one say about feeling like nothing?

I have been having a writing cramp. No, a full brain cramp. No, something more than that.

The church has been doing well. We have quite a few new faces which have appeared over the last couple months, and they are a really colorful bunch, who love being together - those who have met Jesus, and those who are only just discovering that He still hangs around humans in nearly tangible presence.

Despite this season of blessing, I could get stuck staring at a wall with barely a thought for extended time periods. What does one compose about these bland moments? I suppose I could fill a page with phony references to transendental states of consciousness, but the fact of the matter is that I am occasionally frozen in the present as though time became gelatin, and I was swimming deep in a flavorless vat of it. I suppose I could write about the things which I end up staring at, and the thoughts which fill my mind. Okay so the following is my first experimental attempt to write about my bland state of being, and my captivity in the object of my vision:



Agent B said...

What does one compose about these bland moments?

Are we there yet?

Pastor Phil said...

I figure you only compose the thought that fills your head. In this case, I was staring at a bug, and my only thought was...bug.

Agent B said...

Actually...that thought I wrote was your quote from a comment on my blog.

Your not as bland as you think.

And when in doubt, write someone else's stuff like I do.

Pastor Phil said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pastor Phil said...

not as

Wow, this lectio divina meditation is really working.